War of Words
by CuChullain
Summary: Silas Graves, a new English teacher at Forks Highschool, discovers a book about vampires and romance; and decides that he must do something about it. Rated mostly for language.


Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Series (nor do I want to). It is owned by the horrid Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter One: I hate this place.

His name was Silas Graves. He was a few years out of college when he landed a relatively nice job as an English teacher at Forks High School. He was still underwhelmed with the concept. He had intended on teaching at a college level, but there were no jobs available for an entry-level professor.

It was two months into the teaching job, and he despised it. The crowds of barely-literate faces in his classes were reading trite shit than read great literature like The Great Gatsby or The Iliad. It was, to him, a bit depressing. Nevertheless, he continued on.

In his first period class on this particular Wednesday, he noticed that the majority of the girls in the class were even less focused than normal. Silas glanced over at a group huddled in a corner of the room, circled around a few books, giggling and talking quietly.

"Whatcha readin', there?" Silas asked, walking over and adjusting his tie - the damn thing never stayed in place.

One of the girls, a homely brunette, looked up. "We're reading Twilight!"

Silas blinked and narrowed his blue eyes down on the books. Black covers with the image of someone holding an apple. Thrilling. "Twilight?"

"Haven't you read it?"

Silas shook his head and sat on one of the desktops. "No. What're they about?"

"They're totally gay." One of the boys said.

The girls all looked over - their eyes shooting daggars at him. Silas raised an eyebrow. "They're about vampires." Another girl said.

Silas slipped his hands into his pockets and sighed a bit. Vampire book. Probably another crap romance novel - like the shitty Anne Rice novels girls read while he was in highschool. He shrugged it off, waited for the bell, and began the class.

Throughout the rest of the day, he noticed the other girls in his classes reading the books. Each and every became a near zombie when they began reading poetry, but at the beginning and end of class, they would go right back into their vampire books. It was like a drug, or something.

Out of pure curiosity, he picked up the first book from a female friend who had finished reading it some time ago. When he got home, he sat in his favorite chair, cracked open a beer, and read. He got about half way done when he set the book on the table by his chair, stood up, and paced. Every now and then he would look over at the book in horror.

He picked up the book once more and turned it over in his hands, opening it up, reading, and shutting it again.

"...This... This is popular? People LIKE this? People are actually PAYING to read this filth?"

He moved through his townhouse; taking the book down the stairs and into the basement. He opened up a closet and pulled out a lockbox, stuffing the book inside, shutting it, and locking it. He threw it back into the depths of the closet and shut the door.

He ran back up the stairs and took a shower. He felt... Sullied. That "book" was what his students were obsessed with, right now. He imagined that all of the stories in this series were, more or less, the same. Devoid of any personality or character. Creepy. Awkward. At best, he felt, it was just a fantasy that the author had managed to get published. And people were eating this up!

He needed whiskey and a much, much better book to get the bad taste of that trite garbage out of his mouth.

He grabbed a glass and filled it with Jameson's 18 Whiskey, taking a drink and picking up his copy of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. He took the book to his favorite chair, gulped down the harsh whiskey, and read.

The next day, he kept his eyes out for those deplorable books. More of the girls in the class had them. Even worse, he heard some snippets of conversations, people calling the book a "Masterpiece" or "Classic." Silas' blood nearly boiled upon hearing that. The books weren't classic nor masterpieces.

Then, in front of each class, he made an announcement.

"Since there has been such interest in vampires, recently, I decided that we would read a vampire story," Silas said, looking out at the class. The entire class seemed fairly excited, with the exception of a few. "We will be reading Dracula."

The excitement stopped.

"Why can't we read Twilight?" A girl asked.

"Because this class is about classic literature," Silas said. "Here, we read books that are... Well, worth reading."

The guys in the class all stirred up, cheering on loudly. The girls? Not so much.

"We're reading Dracula, because it has heavy thematic elements that you will be able to identify. Also, it has things that the Twilight series lacks. Like a plot. Or personality." He started. More glares. "Read the first three chapters for tomorrow." He said, and began to hand out books.

That night, as he walked from the school to his house, he felt victorious. He had, for now, triumphed over evil. As he walked past the town's movie theatre, something caught his eye. He stopped walking, and took three paces backwards. He turned.

There was a movie poster for the Twilight movie.

His jaw dropped. He almost dropped his bag when he saw it. He closed his mouth and rubbed his eyes, staring at the poster again.

"...I hate this place..."


End file.
